But this is not sufficient. Here she seems to have developed into a brilliant woman with more character and steadfastness than I should ever have given her credit for. She was sick of herself, of her life, of everything but him; and for him all her masked and hidden being was crying out. “Would they make her Queen?” She asked innocently. “I did not,” Anna answered. She got pregnant. “Love should be enough, John, but it never is. The drawers at the moment were too busy to attend to her, and she would have seized the opportunity of examining, unperceived, the assemblage within, through a little curtained window that overlooked the adjoining chamber, if an impediment had not existed in the shape of Baptist Kettleby, whose portly person entirely obscured the view. Bit priggish, isn’t it? And if he only knew it—so absurd. There are so many things I want to tell you, and they stand on such different levels, that the effect is necessarily confusing and discordant, and I find myself doubting if I am really giving you the thread of emotion that should run through all this letter. After I took the bills it was too late to turn back. Her anger parlayed with her confusion, as she realized that the new marriage was about as optional as the first one and her hunger was growing inside her like a weed.
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